Renewal of the Mind: a chat with Jacob Bowker for World Mental Health Day

October is World Mental Health Month and October 10 is World Mental Health Day. Today's guest is passionate about bringing the subject of mental health to the forefront because he has a loved one who suffers with mental health issues that have impacted the whole family.

If you or a loved one is in need of support, check out these resources: https://www.mentalhealth.gov/get-help/immediate-help

You are not alone. Dial 988 for immediate help.

For information on the book, The Renewal of the Mind, and other ministries, visit https://renewalofthemind.com

Guest Bio: 
Jacob Bowker is with Story Ministry and in charge of ministry programs and development. Jacob has 20+ years of experience in media, marketing, business development, and launching start-ups.

 He has a son who is in a mental health hospital, and through his journey with his son, he grew a heart for individuals dealing with drug addiction and mental health. 

 Jacob's favorite Bible verse: Romans 12:2 - 

Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Transcript

0:04

Welcome to Radical Abundance. I'm your host, Teresa Janzen, and the month of October is World Mental Health Month and October 10th is World Mental Health Day. Today's guest is passionate about helping people be aware of mental health issues and what that means in the family, in society, and in the church. Welcome, Jacob Balker. It's great to have you on radical abundance. My pleasure. Thank you, Therea, for having us. Definitely a pleasure. I talk a lot about mental health and how we could build awareness for everybody out there for their families and just individuals struggling with it. So just wanna talk a lot about, and a little about awareness of mental health. Well, thankfully Jacob, we live in an era where mental health doesn't have quite the stigma that it has had in the past, although it's probably still there, I'm sure. And certainly no one wants to have mental health issues in their family. Yet, I think most of us, or maybe even I may go as far as to say nearly all of us have been touched in one way or another with mental health challenges. What is it that makes this such an important issue for you? For me personally, I have a 22 year old son who is in a mental health hospital, but I think that's part of the extreme of mental health, which people start thinking. Mental health hospitals or different stuff going on with individuals. But what I wanna talk a little bit about today is also just the regular mental health, such as stress, anxiety, depression, and things that most of us deal with on a regular basis. That if we don't talk about it or we don't address it, it becomes more of an issue or a bigger problem that sometimes we can't control her. Becomes a lot harder to.. Absolutely. I think that oftentimes as Christians, we feel like we shouldn't be having these issues, and if it's a member of our family, maybe we're afraid of what other people will think or something. But you're right, that stress and anxiety, I think most of us would readily admit that impacts our lives. And what some people aren't aware of is that. Is cumulative. And so you're right. If you don't do something about it, if you don't address the issue and just keep pushing on, it will come up to get you in one way or another, eventually, oftentimes as a more severe problem. Why do you think that as Christians, we have still stigmatized this? I think a lot of times as Christians, we don't like to talk about things just because. People think that we're supposed to have it together being a Christian that we're saved. So now we figured it all out. I think being saved is the first part of it, but that's just the beginning of taking the steps of figuring it out. The truth is I think all of us are struggling with something. We just have to try to a except that we can't do it alone, that we do need help. Maybe not accept what the problem. Because we could be accepting the wrong thing, but really that we need help. We can't do it alone. And that really through Christ and through what God has given us, his son and everything he's done, I mean that is freedom within him. And mental health is a bondage. So to break that bondage, sometimes we have to talk about it. Not only so we have some support, but also we could break free of that, and we have other people that are encouraging us and know that something's going on. I know for me personally, my son was the one doing, dealing with the like major mental health, but it brought stress, anxiety, depression, like a million different things upon our family. Not only me and his mom, but the his brothers and. And everybody else too. It wasn't just him who was affected. So sometimes we think that we're strong enough and maybe we don't need to talk about it. I know men think that a lot. Like we just don't talk about this stuff. We bury it. We're here to support. We're not here to get support. Women sometimes just depending the support system, they're open to talk about some things, but other things. Are a little bit more personal or they don't want their friends to judge them or whatever the situation is. Maybe. I think a lot of times it's how we feel that people are gonna portray our situation or portray us as a, being a Christian like, Oh, I told you so, or look at them, they're weak because of that. But then at the same time, I think it takes a lot of courage to do it. It takes a lot of courage to say, Hey, look, something is wrong. I don't feel right. And I need to give some help. You know, it's the same thing with Anything that we have to bring out that does isn't perfect. We want to look like we have it all together, just like you said, and we don't like to confess our weaknesses, but that is the absolute lie of the enemy because the Bible tells us exactly that we should be bringing our weaknesses to one another and supporting one another in Christian Love. That's I think, why it's so important to have something like a World Mental Health Month. Where we can spend some time talking about it, bring it out into the open, acknowledge that it's there, and then we can deal with some of those underlying problems because it can be vast, like you said, your son is in an actual hospital setting. That is the more extreme end of it, and it can be caused by a lot of things. Could be physiological, could be a result of some of the choices we make, but either way, it's impacting the family and we are not made to go through anything alone, especially something like mental health. So what are some of the resources that are available to people that maybe some of our listeners might not even know? You know, I'd say the number one resource we have at our hands that most Christians don't use as much as we should, I would say is the Bible. I think filling ourselves with the word on a daily, I mean, just renewing our mind with it on a hourly, daily, as much as we can contain it. I mean, absorb it. I think we should, I think definitely the Bible, but we also have YouTube and a lot of resources that we use on a regular basis. Outside of trying to help our mental health, outside of trying to just, you know, we just use it to watch TV or just to waste time, but what if we could use that same network or that same platform to increase our mental health? What if we could use it to watch a podcast like yours that you put on that really helps talk about Christians and talks about faith and talks about how to build that compared to the secular world where it's always. something. How much money you have, how fast your car is, what type of car you have, how big your house is, the vacation that you're going on, the things that you're doing with your kids, that if you want to get depressed, the easiest way is just go on these social networks and compare yourself to other people. But at the same time, you have the opportunity to go find. Those videos, like the ones that you're producing and the networks and the shows that are actually healthy for you and that are looking out for your health. And I know one thing, most, everything is based off of our behaviors. So you could say social media is always giving me these bad videos. The truth is you're always looking for those videos because it's based off your behaviors. It's an algorithm that they, all they really care about is keeping you on that platform. So if it's my Facebook every time I go there, all it is is people asking for prayer. But it's not all that fancy cars. It's not this house. It's not somebody in a bathing suit. It's not some guy who's just super strong that I'm never gonna compare to, that's gonna make me feel bad. It's people that need prayer, that want prayer, that are doing something good, that are praying for other people that are going on missions trips and other things like that. So I had to switch my algorithm too, but now I get fed that same type of stuff. So I think a lot of it, yeah, the Bible, but just utilizing the resources we have. I did create a book, but that's one of a few resources out there. I'm starting a couple podcasts, but that's just one of the few resources. Maybe what I'm saying may not resonate with you. Maybe what there says resonates a whole lot better with you. So I'm not saying, Hey, I'm the only resource. There's a lot of resources out there in the things that you're already doing. Even from the radio. If you're listening to the radio, you could switch that dial or turn that dial a couple turns, and you could be on a Christian radio network or listening to the words. So I think there's a lot of resources out there we could just tap into that are right in front of us. Jacob. I think that's really great advice, and the fact is, is that we have so many choices available to us if we can just switch those things that are negative and negative. Turn on the things that feed and nourish and encourage us, surround us with those things. That's what the Bible tells us is to think on those things that are lovely and that are God honoring. It's a real way of renewing the mind. Now I also do appreciate you saying people should listen to radical abundance, and if you're here listening and finding something encouraging, I hope that you subscribe to the show. Go ahead and hit that notification, be so you don't miss a single episode. We really appreciate you doing that, and leave a comment below. I would be honored to pray for you, and I would be really delighted to hear how the show's impacting you. So please, and thank you for tuning into Radical Abundance. Now Jacob, tell me about this book that you've written. I do wanna talk about that. Yeah, absolutely. It's called The Renewal of the Mind. One day I was going through a rough seat patch probably about a year, a year and a half ago, and I was begging God for help and I actually felt him talk to me. It wasn't just hearing, I actually felt him talk to me and first thing he really did was tell me I to learn how to love. And it kind of hurt me at the season because I was going through a rough patch myself. And it wasn't what I wanted to hear. It wasn't what I expected to hear. It wasn't what I thought God would come and tell me when I'm finally hearing him. You need to learn how to love. The truth is I had to learn how to love or I wouldn't be able to understand the season that I went through and the things that I was going through and now to where he brought me to also. So I made it through that. It was like, All right, God, I don't think I'm the one who needs to learn how to love. Other people need to learn how to love, but. I kept it on my heart, started thinking about that and I was like, Well, if God told me that there must be something too. I mean, he's the creator of all and he came and told me how to learn how to love. I better think about learning how to love start kind of doing that, which I look back now and it really helped me process the season that I was going through. Just talking through it as like God holding my hand, walking me through guiding me exactly. and showing me, not just giving me a quick bandaid or a quick answer, but actually like walking me through why I went through what I went through, but also helped me finding purpose in it. Then I find myself a couple months later. really just like, All right, God, I'm doing good, but I could still use some help. I could use some guidance. People always say give it to God, but how do we do that? And I felt like God told me to write a book and I'm like, God, I'm not an author. I had, you know, learning disabilities as a kid. I'm a d d, You don't want me to write this book. And he told me he was, I wasn't gonna write it, that he was gonna help me write it. The Holy Spirit is gonna help me write. right after that, he put Romans 12, two on my heart. I didn't know what that was. I went and looked it up and it said, Do not be conformed to the patterns of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. And at that time, that's what I needed. My mind was probably at the worst space I've ever been in my life. My son, one of my sons in a mental health hospital. Me personally, I went through a divorce and it was just like things were compiling. I just turned 40. So midlife crisis, like everything's going wrong. Mentally I'm kind of broken. And then God shows me this verse, Romans 12, two, and that's kind of where it started. And he just showed me and guided me all the way through. And it's just been amazing, all the healing I've experienced through myself, all the forgiveness I've experienced, all the growth I've experienced just through writing the book. But the crazy thing is through renewing my mind, and it's never just fully renewed. It's a, it's an ongoing process, but through the renewing of my mind and kind of going through this, I realize that it's also like renewing and helping everyone around me. It's not just me. It's renewing and like refreshing everybody around me, which is just amazing. The healing eyes, experience the healing. I've seen other people experience around me too, the forgiveness, the mindset, the thoughts that people from my mom to my families, to my sister, to just neighbors and friends and everybody else. It's kind of crazy where when you start to make change, how much it could change other people around you and just everything around you, not just you. One thing I was realizing is a lot of times we harden our. And God mentioned hardening Pharaoh's heart. But if you look at how he hardened Pharaoh's heart, all he did was miracles and like signs and miracles. That's all he did in Har Pharaoh was jealous. He was the top one at the time. He was the king. He was the one over everybody, the most powerful person. And for some, somebody or something, or for God to come in and like show him how powerful he is and hardened his heart because Farrell was jealous of. So a lot of times we hard in our heart, if it's from jealousy, if it's from her, if it's from pain, if it's from something we've experienced, we end up hardening our heart. And one thing I've really realized is if we build walls up around our heart, I've realized a couple things, two things. When we build walls around our heart, at some point they become so thick and so tall and so wide that yeah, they don't let people in, but they also trap us in and they don't let us out. And that. We just hold ourselves hostage in a spot. But not only that, not only do we help hold ourselves hostage in that spot or keep ourselves there mentally. Maybe not physically, but mentally. Think about how much emotion we have to use or how many feelings and emotions we have to use to keep up those walls. How many stories we have to tell ourselves, how many things we have to create inside our head and in our mind just to support. Hardening my heart or these feelings or something that somebody did to me. Now I can never let anybody love me again. Now I can never feel or experience this again because one person hurt me, so I built up this wall. Now I have to have all these emotions and all these feelings just as supportive, and sometimes that becomes heavy, comes heavy on the heart and heavy on the mind.. Yeah. We really weren't designed to carry all of these burdens alone we're, That's why God created us as the people in fellowship and to share one another's burdens. So Jacob, we've talked little bit about how. Mental health issues can impact each other and the family, and we've talked about the Bible as a resource. Oftentimes I know that one of the difficult things is knowing what to say to someone. Maybe someone who is going through a time of anxiety or depression. Someone maybe who has even said, I'm struggling here. You. What are some of the helpful things that we can say because people just don't know how to respond to that situation. What do you think? You know, honestly, I, when I read the Bible, I see Jesus a lot and most of the time I don't see him quoting scripture. A lot of times it's actions that he's doing for the people. It's sitting there having a conversation with him. It's showing them love. Yes, he has healed people, but it's also just showing them more. It's, I think a lot of times it's not necessarily what we say but what we do, and just to let somebody know that you understand that you do care if it's buying them a cup of coffee or just asking how they're doing. Sometimes you don't have to say anything, and people could be so sad that they think nobody loves him or nobody cares about them, and you can just smile and all of a sudden it changes their day. So sometimes it's not really what you're saying or the one thing you can say. Cause I think as Christians we try to think of them super verse like that one verse I could give them that's gonna make them feel all right, you know what? Their family member just died. They just lost a child. Something happened. It takes time to process. Sometimes it's not verse or it's the thing, it's the, maybe it's the words with action that you. Maybe it's the words with the heart behind it. I always say a lot of times we can't lead with hate. We can't lead with anger. We can't lead with jealousy. We have to lead with love. We have to lead with love all the time. If we start asking ourselves is something sinful, we need to change that the way we're thinking to, is it out of love? Not, is it sinful? Can I get away with it? Is there this gray area right here that I can get away and still be in God's? What about is it outta love? Like, am I doing this outta love? Like people tell me stuff all the time, or I hear stuff all the time, or comments on social media and sometimes, you know, I just sit back and say, you know, is that outta love? Maybe people didn't write it right or whatever, so I'm not gonna jump to a conclusion or whatever. Or is there something I could try to teach them or show them out of what they've done? I don't know, need to go correct them or. Make them feel bad about something they did. Maybe I could show them something out of love, how to be a better person, even if it hurt me a little bit. But I could show them how to love more and it could help other people. Sometimes we have to think about though, just really our actions that go with our words, but really where's it coming from? Is it coming from our heart? I think that seeing things that coming from a place of love can really help us to receive things from other people well. We can't always depend on other people receiving what we are delivering in that same way, because we can't make them receive things out of love. One of the challenges I see is that oftentimes we are so uncomfortable with things that are broken. But we want to fix it. That's why we want that super birth. That will make the whole situation okay. Or we're quick to say, Oh, well, it'll be all right. God has a plan for that. And I think that when someone's really suffering and we just rush to. Dismiss it because we are uncomfortable with their pain. I don't think that that necessarily helps them at all. And sometimes, in fact, most of the times they don't need anyone to fix anything. They just need someone to be there and someone to listen and love. Listening goes a lot farther than talking. I. Jacob, I cannot believe how our time has flown by today. The topic of mental health is so important, and I'm grateful that we're talking about all month long during World Mental Health Month. As we sign off today, you have one final word for our audience. I think one final word is find somebody to talk about. What you're going through, try to find somebody you can relate to and to tell you the truth, I've found complete strangers. Sometimes I've related more to than a friend or a family because I felt more comfortable talking to them. But if you don't write, journal it down if nothing else. But if you don't write it or talk about it, it may be hard to release it. So we can't hold onto things. Be aware of your mental health. Write it down, talk to somebody and don't build walls around your heart because we don't, We can't take on the weight of this world, and that's really what it is When you hold in. Regret, unforgiveness, stuff like that. That's really what it is. It's just holding on the weight to the world. It's really for you to be set free. I love that. Get it out. Talk to someone. And I do want to say, since we're talking about mental health, if you are thinking of hurting yourself or someone else, know that you are. You are an important, valuable person and you would be so deeply missed. Reach out, talk to someone. There's a phone number in the show notes. Don't keep it inside. Don't spend one more minute alone. Reach out and say something. You are worth it. Jacob, thank you for bringing up the topic. I'm so glad that we had a chance to talk today, and I wish you a radically abundant. You too. Thank you. Blessings.